As we turtled through the traffic in Haiti, I had much to take in. Sensory overload doesn't even begin to describe the tsunami of emotions that threatened to overcome me. It leaves you speechless, really. It takes time to process such beauty and brokenness, such injustice and ingenuity, such poverty and priceless people.
An old crippled man begging on the street. A woman washing off in a mud puddle. A man sifting through sewer muck...for God only knows what. A one-legged man on crutches painstakingly trying to walk up a very steep hill. Two men, each with a plastic bag, digging through a heap of trash, collecting "valuables"--something to sell, use, or even eat. Children scrapping up dropped crumbs with their hands from the orphanage floor and eating them...with the biggest smiles you could ever imagine--crumbs; a treasure in the hands of an orphaned child. These images will forever be burned into not only my mind but my heart as well.
Daily I was haunted by the sight of invisible chains heavier than I could ever bear. The strength of Haitians is a sight to behold. And not just physical strength, but a mental and spiritual stamina I'm not sure I've ever possessed.
While in Haiti I came face to face with my own depravity. Joy that can transcend circumstances; laughter in the midst of suffering; patience in pain; perseverance that refuses to surrender. Countless Haitians possess these things on a daily basis to a degree greater than most Americans ever have...myself included.
In the eyes of Haitians I saw hope and heartache, tiredness and tenacity. These eyes held countless untold stories; stories untold because not many care to listen. I would love to hear every single story--every heartache, every victory, every sorrow, every joy.
To love as I have been loved--am loved--is now my highest goal. I was once told that Jesus will one day ask me how well I loved. "Not much" and "Not well" would surely have to be my honest answer. I want that to change. I want to love with abandon, to love whether or not I am loved back, to love the least of these. I want to actively and passionately love those society turns a blind eye to. Only we're not blind. Not really. We just don't like that which makes us uncomfortable. We place boundaries on our love; Jesus never did and I want to be like Him.
My life is more beautiful since returning from Haiti and not because I recognize how blessed I truly am, although that is certainly true. It is because my definition of love and beauty has been expanded; my capacity to love everyone has increased.
Now that I'm home from Haiti, I am embracing my new normal; I've discovered a new flavor of love. It's called unconditional. The least of these. The marginalized. The outcasts. The unwanted. I want to love them all--unconditionally.
How do you walk away from a country that is making you what you are? Haiti, I will miss you, but you will forever be a part of my heart.
Thank you for posting this. I really enjoyed how you started this blog with the words of Solomon. Loving the least of these has been my focus since my family has started on this journey (lovetheleastofthese.org). We are still waiting to have our dossier sent to Haiti, currently slated for April 2016. During the wait it has been easy at times to lose focus on loving the least. I can't wait to get to the stage of getting a referral and then going to meet my future children and I can't wait to experience Haiti. While I wait I see others around me buy bigger houses, nicer cars, newer gadgets. Things that no longer mean what they used to mean to me (and I'm happy about that), but still the sin of envy can creep in. It only takes a second for your mind to wander and you find yourself back to loving material things instead of God and the people that He wants us to love. So it's good to hear from people like you who have experienced first hand what true unconditional love is supposed to look like. Of course, I know I don't have to visit a 3rd world country to love unconditionally and all any of us has to do to know what perfect love looks like, is to close our eyes and picture the Son of God being nailed to a tree to pay off a debt that was not His to pay. But He did it because He loves us. And now He's called us to do the same. So thank you for this article, this reminder that as we are clouded by so many useless, meaningless things and endeavors in this world that they profit us nothing. They are empty endeavors. But if we instead empty ourselves for Christ we will be full of His Spirit, full of His love and the automatic result of that will be that we want to share it with the ones on this earty that need it the most. God bless you! -Dug
ReplyDeleteBesides the Bible, no truer words have ever been spoken, Dug. Your response is spot on. Thank you for taking the time to read the blog and for sharing your response. Blessings to you as your adoption process continues.
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