Happy Birthday

   What is a birthday with no presents, with no candles to blow out, with no "Happy Birthday" song to acknowledge you were ever born? Four years and not a birthday celebration to be had. I never thought I'd see the day; I was sure he'd be home by now--home unwrapping birthday gifts from his forever family for the very first time, home blowing out four colorful candles on a cake even more colorful, home listening to the birthday song sung in his honor. Instead, the day passes for my son like any other day. He doesn't know it's a special day. But I do.

   And so I will celebrate my son's birth without him. I will thank God for His hand of protection over my son as he lay abandoned not long after being born. I will be grateful for the man who took him to the orphanage, where my son has lived ever since. I will pray blessings over those who provide for his care, peace for his parents--if they are even still alive. And I will rejoice that God chose our family to be his family.

   While the day is full of sadness, it is also mixed with joy. For with God, every bitter thing is sweet. There will come a day when there is no more sorrow, no more tears, no more orphans; today is not that day. Today I celebrate my son's birthday...without him.

   Happy Birthday, baby boy. Next year, we'll rock it.